Month: February 2019

Where Did It Go?

/ minjujubeblog / Leave a comment
And then the bastard reached down

Fumbled a bit

Then continued with the act

I was stupid maybe innocent

Maybe in denial

I was enjoying the moment

I turned a blind eye in the dark of the room, my precious room, my newfound sanctuary, my holy place I’d opened up to this simple creature who realized not the crime he had in an instant chosen to commit for the sake of a few seconds of pleasure

And when we were done

How is it that anger is not the first emotion I express?

How is it that I try to understand

I try not to offend

I try to doubt myself

Oh, surely this didn’t happen

But where is the condom that he should be removing now

Where is the usual post-act protocol

Why isn’t he making his way to the trash to quickly discard that which would discomfort his lying down on my bed to rest after a job hard done

At which point he would give me his arm I’d never asked for

But I would nonetheless cozy in and lay my normally quite satisfied and euphoric head down gently upon with as much gracefulness as could be mustered up by awkward old me

Where?

What has happened?

But I know don’t I

Yes I know of course you idiot you’ve allowed an intolerable act to happen

You human being you

Pleasure-seeking animal you that you are

And but what now

Can you blame him

YES

No…

YES

No…?

But yes….

My dear, yes

A million times yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Yet you let him in

Again. And again.

You put up with his simple excuse,

“Then ought I have reported to you that ma’am I will now remove the condom and then re-enter your body in the middle of the act?”

You chuckle. You understand.

But you still feel wronged somehow.

Because you had made it clear from the start. You had made it clear from the start.

When weeks have passed since the first violation and he seems to think it is okay to illogically always begin with a condom and then end without one,

Finally, you tell him.

Why

Why must it be so

That you give up your rights

And you allow it

Forgiving the man is easy.

Respect and trust lost is easy.

Never to invite him into your temple again is easy.

Human empathy is easy.

But you should know better.

You deserve better than that.

You deserve more.

Self-respect, self-love.

Can’t no one else give that to you.

You owe it to yourself.

And those who brought you into this world.

Okay?

It is not okay.

You had made it clear from the start.

It should have been clear to you, always.

May I Ask, Who Are You?

/ minjujubeblog / Leave a comment

It’s a most bizarre feeling, this sense of a spirit lingering around, next to me, softly touching the skin of my physical being I almost smell him his gentle pulsating aroma of otherworldly desire how is it that I not only feel him but more so he arouses me it’s magick unexplainable unidentifiable untraceable unknowable but just so undeniably tangible

I can’t tell if his visit comes as a surprise to me no I can’t tell I can feel my body welcoming pleased happy at something so close to if not eternal ease itself like he’s here he’s finally here and I don’t have to, not me, but my essence feels complete made whole and I don’t need to search anymore wander ever-seeking ever-hungry ever-thirsty ever-chasing ever-insatiated. I can rest. In peace now. I am freed.

I don’t know his face I don’t know his name but surely I know I knew I will know he has always been here he will always return he can’t leave me it seems we are one we are linked we can’t be separated well we could but he’ll come back he will always come back but may I ask, “who are you? who are you? who are you? I swear I know you I just don’t know who you are”